An in depth thought when hindsight is being used.What do men really want?
When I was a young GTG I met a man who was tall, dark, and handsome. We met at an art gallery and bonded over our love of Van Gogh. We would later meet up for the occasional coffee and chat. We laughed and we got to know one another. After a few months, we decided to date. It was fun.
One night he took me to a charity event and introduced me to his friends. They were delightful. I went to the restroom to powder my nose and just as I was finishing up a woman came up to me and asked me if he was my date. She said one of the most offensive things I think any woman could ever say to another. 'What does he see in you?' She seemed quite surprised.
I was not his 'type' and she made sure I left the bathroom knowing that. She also made sure to let me know that it would not last. I left the charity feeling deflated and my confidence bruised. I left him there with his friends and took a cab home. I let her words haunt me and I let him go.
He called for months and I always made an excuse as to why I couldn't see him until eventually, he gave up...
I wish I could say that was the last time I heard those words from any other woman or man, for that matter, but I would be lying. I am sure we have all been guilty of doing it, or been asked that question ourselves. It is in our nature to judge on appearances alone.
My experience in life has taught me that you can be the most gorgeous woman in the room, you can be the most poised, and intellectually gifted, as well as have a clever personality. Those things may not necessarily will not attract a man in the way that you would like. Why? Because those attributes are things we as women appreciate more than men. Men appear to admire our feminity, tenderness, sweetness, our vivacity, and our ability to understand them more. We also place more weight on what is called 'artistic beauty' i.e. the shape of the face, the nose, and clothing.
Men, however, place more stress on the sparkle in our eyes, our smile, our freshness, our radiance, and our divine femininity.
Men want comfort,understanding,true sympathy, appreciation, and comradeship.
It is interesting to me that men do not place look in such high regard as we do.
When we see a very attractive man with a woman we may think is not in his league. We can even see that he is head over heels in love with her. As women, we must realize that men are not as shallow as we think and maybe we need to practice a little more grace and understanding in what it means to be 'perfect'.
We can find examples in history of women who were not your ideal 'beauties' but were loved fully nonetheless.
-Cleopatra was not beautiful, but her charms changed the course of history.
-Helen of Troy was so treasured as to have caused a major war.
-Ellen Wilson, wife of the President, would be worthy of intensive study.
Several years later, I went back to the city and as luck would have it, I bumped into tall,dark, and handsome. We were happy to see one another in good health and decided to grab a coffee and catch up. I prayed he wouldn't ask me what happened that night, but seeing as I acted like Cinderella that night and disappeared before the clock struck midnight, he did. I worked up the courage to tell him what was said in the powder room. He was angry that it happened, and apologized on her behalf. I asked him the same question she had asked me so many years ago. What had he saw in me? And wouldn't you know he told me that I was charming, understanding, gracious, kind, and I had a great smile.
I challenge my GTGs to ask your S.O. or Partners what they find attractive about you. Write down what you think they will say and then on the back of that paper write down what they actually said.
This is a great way to see if your definition of beauty is defined by your ideals or His.
Let me know in the comments!
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